Fuck you Guaky!

Not for that night we were out drinking and you pushed me into a puddle.
Not for your tendency to tug shirts when you're playing defense.
Not because i think you might be one of the scariest mascots i've ever seen for a sporiting event.


Although Kaz, Ato and Nik of World Cup 2002 fame definitely give your parrot ass (or whatever you are) a run for your money.

Not even because you secretly want Brasil to win the cup.

No.

Fuck you, Guaky, because tickets to the Caracas games for the Copa (all bloody 2 of them, which warrants you another gringo middle finger) are both nowhere to be found and 4 times their original price.

Why?
I was told today that, like all things Venezuelan, there are two stories as to why.

The opposition version:
The government bought up all the tix for officials and 'gifts.' The government bought 70% of the tix right at the outset of sales. They have a plot to make sure the entire stadium is full of red shirts and hats to fool the world that people in Venezuela like Chavez.

The Chavista version:
The government bought them up to give them to poor barrio children who otherwise wouldn't have been able to go.

Either way, I'll be drinking my beers and watching my games far, far away from you.

Which is better for you, trust me.